Season's Bleatings
Time for me to join the Christmas rantings in blogworld - I love reading Mark's annual rant about the cattle shed.
My rantings too are not about Christmas per se, but the kitsch traditions around it. I'm not a huge fan of Christmas carols simply because they are so often UNREAL in their portrayal of Christmas, and more to the point, of Christ himself. Some are blatantly hangovers of the values of bygone eras (e.g. the Victorians).
So I'm going to wade in with some of my own "season's bleatings" - here are my rewrites.
Away in a manger, no crib for a bed
The little Lord Jesus lay down his red head
Smeared with blood and mucus from the afterbirth
The little Lord Jesus lay down on the earth.
The cattle are absent, the baby awakes
It's time for a breast feed, what a racket he makes
The stars in the bright sky looked down where he lay
The real live Lord Jesus, kicks around on the hay.
And my number one rant target, Once in Royal David's city, which in parts is little more than a plea by Victorian parents to subdue their naughty children. Well here's my version:
"Christian children all must be
Wild and fearless, just like He." (excuse the bad grammar)
A Christmas card Victoriana Jesus IS NO USE TO ANYONE. This glossy, slick, unreal Jesus is no saviour to the real people I meet day by day. I need a real Saviour who will climb in and get his hands dirty with MY dirt, and yours too.
Please give us back the REAL Jesus! Anyone else is no Saviour to anyone.
Rant over. I better head off to the carol service now.
(Oh, I mustn't forget a dozen teatowels and a lobster outfit for the nativity play.)
by RichardL
(P.S. If you have views to share on all things Christmas, why not add them to the conversation on the Christmas story over on the new Bible reading DREAM blog?)
7 Comments:
great rant richard!
6:42 PM
good words richard....
just trying to imagine singing this with with our 9,7,2 and six month old around the mock crib next sunday(christmas eve) hmmm!
It's the bit about the breast feeding and after birth! The two eldest have only just got over the death of Father Christmas. I Think we need to keep nice sweet non screamy, non bloody Jesus, at least for one more year. Has to be said I quite like him myself!
Can we keep the nice Jesus and nice children just for one more year, please?
12:33 AM
It occured to me that if you're going for this realism blood n guts approach to the nativity you could get Mel Gibson to make the film - in realtime of course, which if our first child's labour is anything to go by means it will be 42 hours long
10:28 AM
Ohh, I can just imagine what would happen if those words were slipped into the carol sheet tonight!! Probably most people wouldn't even notice though!!
Great stuff Richard - thanks!
11:09 AM
Wonderful stuff Richard - but an 'annual rant'? Really? OK, I guess it is - there are some traditions worth keeping!
Your 'OIRDC' amendment could go 'Wild and fearless, just as he' (with a pun on 'just', geddit?)
3:42 PM
Mark B - your annual "kataluma" rant is a seasonal highlight. Keep up the dissent!
Mark S - I know what you mean - the Jesus of the Bible is a really disturbing character if we really let him loose. Much better to confine him to a "carry on" part once a year. OK you can have him till this time next year, at which time I'm going to deface more rubbish carols in the sight of all the people (i.e. online)
Richard L
1:11 AM
Christmas isn't the same without a rant! Good on ya.xxx
8:21 PM
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